Taking pictures of pictures and the sampling of hors d'oeuvres is how we live. When the waitress comes around, resist the tarts, eat the shrimp and devour the macarons. When did we get so old? Watching our weight and complaining of aches and searching the internet for sensible shoes. There is nothing sensible about these words.

Sometimes I feel a sudden sadness here and I'm never really able to explain why. Sometimes it's as silly as not being able to fit in my jeans, or the stores that close almost as soon as they open or the weather that reaches past 100 degrees Fahrenheit on an ordinary day. Currently it's most likely my toothache, that pesky pain that gnaws beneath my molars. I'm just so tired of the pain, the heat, the small gut hanging in front of me due to too much coffee and sweets.

This diet is making me cranky. Summer vacation, please hurry.

I've got so many thoughts bumping around in my head and suddenly I see this picture of this girl and she is wearing chinos with moccasins and an orange bag and all I keep thinking is I want her bangs. Bangs. Had them as a child, you know, the thick ones that hide your face and I just feel the urge to hide away these, float away and just not be seen. There are days when I wish I'd just throw on a burqa (does anyone really throw on a burqa?) because it would be much easier to hide and look at the world without exposure. I'm sure I've written about this before, unpublished in my journal (a nice leather one from Barnes and Noble, with a string that ties it shut, as if that could keep anyone from looking inside). But bangs, yes I remember that they don't suit me. No, no. My forehead is far too small, just like my patience in the morning. But that orange bag I want. For sure. It's not so much a bag as a satchel. I've just been so fond of satchels these days. Especially orange ones, like the sun when it's the hottest. Orange, like burnt saffron.

❝ Stay with me,
Speak to me. Why do you never speak. Speak.
What are you thinking of? What thinking? What?
I never know what you are thinking. Think. ❞

-from "The Wasteland" by T.S. Eliot

Fresh mint in my water keeps me yearning for more and the lemon makes it feel like spring. Actually, the Santa Rosa, otherwise known as green cherries, are only available in the spring, and my husband and I can't seem to get enough.

These upcoming weeks will be hectic for sure, so I need to take a moment to sit down, blog and enjoy the spring time goods.

Procrastination

I've often been told that I mentally check out when things just get too overwhelming. I tend to do that at work, especially since it's my first year teaching non-native speakers. I'll google obscure things at the most inappropriate times (usually when there are more pressing tasks to attend to: grading papers, exams, etc.). This usually results in unwarranted stress and panic as the deadline approaches. I wish I was different, but I'm not. I don't have my sister's ability to get things done quickly and efficiently (or my dad's persistence or my mother's drive, for that matter). I guess it is just easier to escape into this different world (seven different tabs, to be exact), while eating these:

green almonds.